Mating Moth
BY QUANIQUA KHEMISTRY WILLIAMS
(c) 2024
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Quaniqua Williams is a member of the Editorial Board of KIZA BlackLit, and she previously contributed poems to the Spring/April edition of KIZA BlackLit. Since her middle school days, she has used her poetry to help her navigate her emotions and feel liberated. Quaniqua’s poetry has been featured in the Langley Film Festival and in UK poetry groups. Since 2021, she has received funding from the Inatai Foundation to facilitate writing workshops and open mics in her community.
Currently the Poet in Residence at North Sound ACH in Lopez, Washington, Quaniqua leads writing workshops to build community and help create a sense of belonging. Her residency continues her work as a DEIJ consultant, supporting organizations and companies to take the steps necessary to create a culture of mutual respect, appreciation of differences and shared belonging. Quaniqua connects deeply with audiences, helping them move easily through blockages, in order to promote a healthy organizational climate.
A poet in action, Quaniqua demonstrates through her life and work that poetry and community are one. This month, her poetry selection relates her process of rebirthing herself after abuse, utilizing the imagery of the emerging moth and its alienation from its mother.
Mating Moth
©2024
I was a caterpillar
Inching along the branch of life
Destabilized by the burning rays of my truth
So I slipped
Found myself hanging from the tip of a leaf
That could barely hold me
I couldn't hold the weight of she
So I folded in on myself
Engaging my gut muscles
Sucking every breath of air
I had to breathe deeply
To see the forest through the trees
I marvel at the foliage that sustains me
I eat emotionally
To anesthetize the pain
Life's troubles eating and eating and eating away at me
Like my caterpillar self
Storing energy for when I'm an adult
I split personalities to shed the skin I'm in
Internal war between anger and forgiveness
For the grievances opposing me
Swells in my innermost Being
I'm fleeing smaller versions of me
To rise up Mighty
Finding protection in the darkness
I suspend myself from life-giving trees
It’s funny that my family tree was broken
So I chose to linger in the shadows alone
Securing myself to this quiet place
I stopped eating
Better off searching my feelings
Finding healing in the dark
Spiritually and emotionally
Feeding on my thoughts
I'm processing/digesting images of the abuse
Flash backs back to back
But I stand firm
Trusting that this rebirth
Will be beautiful
Mature and fully grown
I transition
Ready to emerge anew
I struggle to free myself from
The silk-pressed images of womanhood
Tainted by the one who stood so far away
I could never touch her skin
To see what being a woman feels like
Wings caught up on memories
Of my mother not believing my story
Eyes blurry trying to see if anyone would notice me.
Legs so fragile
I didn't believe I could carry the weight on my chest
Remembering a cocoon spun so tight
I had to fight against depression
To bless the world with my presence
I battled wars on the mental health front and won
I had to believe in myself before I could
Emerge as a mating moth, procreating anew
Previously laden in precious silk
Surrounding me so I could find comfort in myself
And be reborn once again